Birthday Cards

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Front of card with news anchor wearing obvious hairpiece, holding papers and speaking into a microphone. Text in speech balloon: "And The Main News Tonight You're Getting Wasted!"

The Main News You're Getting Wasted Card

Front and inside of card. Front of card is green with illustration of a goblin-like figure in a trench coat and party hat, pointing at the onlooker. Text at top of the card reads "Today Is Your Day."

Today Is Your Day Birthday Card

Front and inside of card. Illustration on front of card of bird creature in striped outfit, party hat, and sneakers holding a card, with streamers raining down on them. Text on top of card: "I Love Celebrating Your Birthday." Light green background.

I Love Celebrating Your Birthday Card

Front and inside of card. Front of card is green with fuzzy monster with its mouth open, about to devour a whole cake. Text at top of card reads "This Year, You Can Have Your Cake And Eat It Too."

This Year, You Can Have Your Cake and Eat It Too Birthday Card

Front and inside of card. Front of card is blue with illustration of small monster in party hat with thought clouds coming out of its head. Text at top of card reads "Thinking of you on your birthday."

Thinking of You Birthday Card

Front of card with retro image of boy in glasses. Text at top of card says "Birthday Boy."

Birthday Boy Card

Front of card with retro image of uncomfortably smiling little girl in front of cake, wearing party hat. Two blocks of text read "Enjoy Your Birthday" in pink and blue letters and "You'll Be Forgotten Tomorrow" in white. Dark blue background.

Enjoy Your Birthday Card

Front of card with image of businessman in shirt and tie against dark blue background. At bottom of card, text reads "Happy Birthday You Big" in yellow and "Knob Jockey" in pink, against light blue background.

Knob Jockey Birthday Card

Front of card with retro image of brunette woman in red sweater, smiling, with hands on either side of face to broadcast message. Text reads "Happy Birthday To The Basic Bitch" in pastel colors.

Basic Bitch Birthday Card

Front of card with image of woman in black dress in front of crepe ball decorations. Text in cartoon balloon reads "I hope your birthday involves copious amounts of alcohol and plenty of bad decisions."

Copious Amounts of Alcohol Birthday Card

Front of card with family (children, grandchildren, wife) gathered around white-haired man in suit, presenting him with a cake. Family members say "Happy Birthday!" and he replies "Facebook Told You, Didn't It...."

Facebook Told You Birthday Card

Front of card shows middle aged woman in a little black dress sitting on a couch in a 70s style living room. Her arm is flung out, her legs are crossed and her white panties are shown. White text on a strip of light blue at the top of the card reads "What, it's your Birthday? I have no fucking idea!"

What's, It's Your Birthday? Card

Front of card shows Billie Holiday with gardenias in hair singing into microphone. Main colors are shades of red, white, and yellow (background). Text at top of card reads "Happy Birthday And All That Jazz!"

Billie Holiday All That Jazz Birthday Card

Front of card with illustration of Freddie Mercury wearing crown and robe. Purple "cosmic" background and white text reading "Happy Birthday."

Freddie Mercury Birthday Card

Front of card with illustration of Marilyn Monroe in front of pink background with white stars. Script at top of card reads "Being normal is boring."

Marilyn Monroe Normal Is Boring Card

Front of card with illustration of Marie Antoinette's head and shoulder. Pastel pink background, red text reading "Eat Cake!"

Eat Cake Birthday Card

Card on top of cream colored envelope. Front of card features illustration of Shakespeare against pale blue background. Orange text at top of card reads "Shake Things Up."

Shake Things Up Birthday Card

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